Scans- Round 3

So I had scans during spring break to see how my cancer is progressing. I didn't actually get to meet with my doctors until a few days after the scans so I started a bet with a few friends on how many new tumors I would have. My bet was 6, but I was wrong. At least it was better than my sister's bet of 14. Anyways, I have three new tumors, so I now owe my friend, Kyle, a piece of gum. That was the wager. My friends are cheap, right?
 Anywho, I have two new tumors in my chest. I don't want to get all technical and use medical terminology, mainly because I really don't know it, so their general location is around my trachea. Tumors produce liquid (eww, nasty), so now I have liquid building up in one of my lungs. That shouldn't do anything besides make me out of breath easily, which I'm kind of glad because I just thought I was really really out of shape. I also have a new tumor sitting on my liver. FUN STUFF.

This sounds really weird, but I need help naming these new little guys! I promised to name one Puff Daddy and I was thinking about naming another one The Artist Formerly Known as Prince, but I'm still kind of iffy on that name. The naming process is important and names can't be given all willy nilly, you can't just rename a child. Any suggestions on names?

Don't judge me. I'M KEEPING LIFE FUN AND WEIRD.

Brave the Shave

So I don't want my blog to become a huge fundraising website, but this cause probably means even more to me than the last one I told y'all about. It's called Brave the Shave and it's hosted by Saint Baldrick's. Brave the Shave is a fundraiser where people can donate money or even choose to shave their head, which is just as helpful as donating money (and maybe even a little more important, but I'm a little biased). Shaving your head for Saint Baldrick's acts as a walking advertisement for a great cause. Not much money at all (I believe less than a penny of every dollar raised) gets donated towards research goes towards pediatric cancer, so it's up to private organizations, such as this one, to raise money and do their own research so that children can have a chance at life. If you can't donate money, but want to help, sign up to have your head shaved!

I cannot tell you how important that is to someone with cancer. The only people that volunteered to shave their head for me when I was going through chemo were my mom and sister and I cannot tell you how alone that made me feel. Even though I had tons of people rooting me on and wearing t-shirts with my name on it, I didn't have one person that looked like me and only two who were truly willing to stand with me when I had to shave my head. It really really does mean the world to someone dealing with cancer to have people willing to shave their head for you so you don't feel like a freak by being the ONLY bald person in your life. And remember, hair does grow back!

So if you would like,  donate here and if you want to shave your head, talk to me about it! I would love to help you sign up if you're going to be in Austin that day, or even if you're not! You can still shave your head and tweet or facebook about it to raise awareness for Saint Baldrick's or pediatric cancer in general.

OR if you want to support my friend who is shaving her head you can click here! She's a really great person and needs all the help she can get to raise money. Plus, SHE'S ACTUALLY SHAVING HER HEAD FOR THE CAUSE. She's going all out and not many people do that so please please please help her out.  I can't upload her video, but here's a link to it!

P.S.- I'll be speaking at the event, so come and support if you can!

Why me?

I wonder like ALL THE TIME why God gives us the lives he gives us. I know the struggles that we all deal with are to teach us lessons and mark our friend's lives, but I always wonder why he gives that  individual person the struggles they deal with. I wonder if I'm spiritually strong enough to give people advice on things or teach them things. I'll be the first to admit that my bible does not get opened near enough and definitely don't pray enough. Am I really strong enough to live a life that is an example to others? Am I worthy enough to be an inspiration? So this question is not a woe is me, why was I given such a huge trial that is going to put me through so much pain and sickness "why me" question. This question is an ok, I would love to be an inspiration to others, but am I really the right person to do it question. This is a why am I so special "why me" question. Why did God choose me out of everyone that he possibly could, why did he pass over people that are WAY more equipped to set an example and choose me?

Then I remember that I'm not in this alone. God is not just using me by giving me this and then throwing me out to fend for myself, he is speaking through my words and actions. Even though it takes me way longer to get to a certain place than it would take someone else, He brought me here. He is always with me. Always. He is leading me to where I need to be and won't leave me alone no matter what. Even when I'm struggling with Him and just want to be left alone, I am still his. He loves me and won't forsake me.

"When you walk through the water, I will be with you. When you pass through the river, the waves will not overtake you. When you walk on the fire, the flames they will not touch you. You are mine."

I want to be the start of a ripple effect

I want to change the lives around me. I want to change the world. I want to leave a legacy.

If you know me, then you know I'm a planner. I like for things to be in order and know what I'm doing before I

Fearless

Sometimes the best nights are not the ones spent partying with friends, but the nights sharing your heart with them. Last night was one of those nights.
During our life talk I realized how much we focus on fear. Fear has to be the largest thing that keeps us from reaching our true potential. Our fear of the future keeps us from taking leaps that could be beneficial. Our fear of the future keeps us from enjoying the life we have right now. Our fear of the future keeps us from developing better relationships with the people around us.
Sometimes this fear can be good and keeps us from making bad decisions, but I

Smile.

Smile because
I love you
You have great dance moves
You have something to live for
The sun is going to come up tomorrow
Someone is ALWAYS happy to see you
Life is a good thing
Food will never betray you (unless you're allergic to it, in that case it definitely is plotting to kill you)
God loves you no matter what happens
You're outrageously attractive
You're smart
Someone somewhere wishes they could be like you
You're fun to be around
You make someone laugh
Your hair looks FANTASTIC (yes, that was directed at me. I'm having trouble adjusting to my 'fro)
You're positively brilliant
Your situation is not as bad as it could be
You have friends that love you
I like you just the way you are