It's back. My remission is over.
I guess technically I never was in remission. There was a spot on my last round of scans but the doctors weren't sure what it was so we decided to just monitor it. On the scans I had yesterday it was doubled in size, so it's definitely cancer. They also found four more spots on my diaphragm.
I can't say I'm surprised. I've been really tired lately and I've started having bits of nausea again so deep down I really knew. Also, this is going to be really weird, but the deciding factor was that popcorn made me sick. Before I had my tumors removed, eating popcorn made my stomach feel really weird and hurt. The other week I had popcorn and couldn't sleep because my stomach felt so uncomfortable.
Chemo doesn't work and having surgery on that area to remove the tumors is iffy. It looks like there's nothing left to do. Even if we could do surgery, I don't think I will. The tumors will just keep coming back. My life would be longer, but I would hate it because it would just be filled with surgeries. So I'm just going to keep on living my life as long as I can. I'm not sad or afraid. I get to be with my friends and family here and then I get to go to my real home in heaven. Either way it's a win win situation!
I just want all of you to know that I'm happy and I don't hurt. This gives me the opportunity to do what I really want to do with my life but didn't have the courage to do beforehand. I'm planning some great things and I'll post pictures here so you can all be a part of my adventure. I'm just going to close it out with my favorite scripture ever which just so happens to fit the situation perfectly!
For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.