Monday, June 11, 2012

Cancer changes everything. It takes a toll on your body. It changes your hair, obviously. It changes your perspective on life. It changes the way your family functions. All of which I expected. What I didn't expect was for it to change my friends and how they act around me. I've noticed that they all pretty much fall into these three groups.

Some will try to use you. Even if we've barely talked my entire life, we're instant "best friends". They take everything you tell them and use it as a way to get ahead. Nothing you tell them is safe because it will eventually be used as information to hold over others' heads. You're almost like their new shiny toy that they carry around to make others jealous. This works for them for a while, but once you're no longer that much of a concern to others, they drop you as quickly as they picked you up.

Others don't really know how to act around you. They treat you like you're a piece of china that will break any minute. They assume you're too frail to do anything, so you stop getting invites. Then the saying "out of sight out of mind" takes effect and they no longer stop inviting you because you're frail, but because they really just don't remember you. Which really sucks because getting up and out is what makes you feel better.

  Lastly, there's a small group of friends that don't change at all. These are my favorite. These friends don't treat you differently and they stick with through everything, even when you treat them poorly. These friends watch Dance Moms with you. These friends send you funny animal pictures and talk about old crushes. These friends let you eat their last brownie and tell you their plans for the zombie apocalypse. These friends tell you horrible horrendous knock knock jokes. They're genuinely concerned about you and listen no matter how much you complain. These are true friends and I am so glad I have them.

The next time you know someone that is going through something rough, think about what type of friend you are. And don't lie to yourself about it, because friends really do affect someone's battle. The type of people you surround yourself with really does make a difference on your recovery; mentally, physically, and spiritually. They need a strong group of friends behind them to lean on. So I BEG that you really try to be a part of the last group I described, because when someone has to go through something rough and life altering, like cancer, the last thing they need to worry about are their friends.

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